Inspirations & Epiphanies

I once listened to a sermon in which the pastor, Justin Kendrick, stated that to “inspire” meant to literally breathe in, to be filled. The posts that I write in this section are inspirations that have given me opportunities to breathe in God’s truths and be filled. The hope is that you may find some inspiration as well!

May 2021

The verse above is one that I see taken out of context all the time. People sometimes use this verse to wrongly imply that if people follow God, they will live an easy life, avoiding medical problems, financial struggles, and relational issues. They think following God only leads to good. While it is true that God has good plans for us, there is so much more to this verse when read in context. In fact, we learn that when following God, we are bound to face struggles - they are unavoidable.

In its original context, this verse was spoken to Jews who were living under the rule of their enemies, and were eventually exiled. They had been told by the false prophet Hananiah that they would be free to return home in two years, and while this was the news they wanted to hear, it was not the truth. Jeremiah, a true prophet, revealed to them the tough truth: it would be seventy years at least before they were free to return to their home.

Jeremiah 29:11 was spoken to people who were going through some tough times. Imagine being told that you’d be free from trouble in two years then come to find out it would actually be more than seventy! Have you been through an experience that you wish would just end (like now please), but there is no end in sight? Or maybe the end is in sight, but just farther away than you’d like?

The good news is that there is hope, even if the end is out of sight.

For me, reading this verse is a great reminder that life IS going to be tough, but that I can have hope and a future when (as the next verses in this chapter say) I draw near to God, focusing on God’s will and God’s plans. If I’ve learned anything through my experiences of losing 4 babies, it’s that God does have good plans for us, but that doesn’t mean we get to experience them right away. It doesn’t mean we won’t go through more hurt before we get there. However, there is joy to be found in the midst of the hurt. There is growth to be experienced in the heartache. While I’d love to hear that I’ll have a successful pregnancy right away, I am aware (as the Jews were) that it could take a while, and in the wait my job is to keep my eyes on God’s hope. I’m not going to immediately be rescued from my problems, but there is hope in the midst of my problems.

I know I mentioned context is important, and I gave you the history of what happened before this verse was spoken, but if you read on right after this verse, it says “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”. God gives us the “how” to experience His plans of hope and a future. It is through seeking Him with all of our hearts. 

The next time you find yourself in a tough or seemingly impossible situation, remember that the Jews were there too. Jeremiah had to break it to them that they were not anywhere close to being rescued. They wished they could get out sooner, but they had to make the best of the situation they were in. They needed to seek God: That was the key to finding Him and the hope that He brings.

April 2021

Chances are you weren’t born into a royal family where you are an heir to the throne or a fortune. What if I told you that (if you believe in Jesus) you have an inheritance greater than you could imagine? You haven’t been left a mansion or a million, but you’ve been given Heaven. And you’re already guaranteed this spot because Jesus is the one who has died to secure us a place in Heaven.

In college, I was in a Bible study on Colossians, and every week for over 3 months, we started the study by reading/reciting this verse: For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:13-14). The couple leading this study wanted to drill in to our heads that we have been rescued from darkness and brought in to light. We are completely forgiven and we have been adopted as God’s children.

Now, being adopted as God’s son or daughter does not mean that our lives will be all good and void of any pain. In fact, we may even be more likely to experience hard times. If being a Christian meant we could avoid all pain, then I think it would be a lot more popular! We are told that we have an inheritance if we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 

Why would we want to inherit suffering? This has been a question on my heart recently. I don’t have the answers all figured out, but I know that suffering is something that produces character, perseverance, and hope (see below post). Our experiences may seem heavy now, but they will fade, and will be nothing in comparison to the glory we will experience. 

Life as God’s child is about hope. Hope means that our joy doesn’t depend on things in this time and on this earth. We don’t hope for things that we already have. We hope for things that we want. Our hope in Christ depends on the glorious future. We know in all things, God works for the good of those who love him. Things on earth are not all good, but God works everything towards good. 

So when you next feel heavy, hurting, alone, remember: You are an heir to the greatest fortune EVER!

March 2021

I do not enjoy suffering, let me make that clear. But, it has certainly grown me, and I can honestly say I’ve enjoyed what I have learned through the suffering. I’ve enjoyed growing closer to God and closer to my husband. I have become stronger as a result. I am able to look forward with hope not for the earthly things I desire, but for the heavenly things God desires for me.

For those of you who haven’t read my journey towards parenthood, I encourage you to visit (fertility). It has been 5 years now of hoping for a child, and during that time, I’ve lost four babies.

Suffering produces perseverance

In order to overcome obstacles, difficulties, and discouragement, you must keep going and not give up. With tenacity and determination, Dave was able to preach in church less than three months after we went through our first miscarriage/loss of our twins. His sermon title: When God Disappoints. His take home point: God is not our servant, answering all of our prayers how we want Him to. He does not disappoint. Five couples came up to speak to us afterwards and said they had been through similar experiences. They shed tears as they shared their stories. There is power in persevering together.

Perseverance produces character

It’s easy to give up when we face struggles, but if we do that, we miss out on so much growth in our character. Before I got pregnant for the first time, I was asked to talk about what it means to “be still” at a retreat. I had 7 months to prepare. God used my rollercoaster experience over those months to shape my understanding of what being still actually was. He changed my character. I was able to give a testimony of how my character and faith was changed through this experience. Not only did I get closer to God, but I was able to draw others to a new perspective.

Character produces hope

It has taken 2 years for me to even start to understand how suffering produces perseverance, character, and hope. We live in a culture of instant gratification where credit cards and monthly installments allow us to get the newest product “now”. Instead of saving up for something, we are persuaded to get a loan or pay a marked up monthly price for the next few years so that we can afford it right away. But where is the “hope” in that? I was brought up under the premise that we did not buy things we couldn’t afford. The only permissible “debt” was a mortgage. We were taught to save up for what we wanted to buy. This was intertwined with an earthly sense of hope. Obviously getting pregnant is very different from saving up money for something, but there is a similarity in the waiting process and in the hope. I imagine after waiting more than 5 years, it will be all the more special when I finally have a child than if it happened right away.

I do want to end with a clarification though. The true hope that I believe is being referred to in this Bible verse is not hope that things will work out well for us on earth. It is hope in God; hope in what he’s done for us. Ultimately, my hope lies in the belief that this earth is not all there is. Heaven awaits, and God sent Jesus to secure my slot!

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing

-James 1:3-4

February 2021

Dave and I were given a puppy cam for Christmas last year. It’s been very interesting to be able to see what our dog Winston does when we are out. As soon as we get in the car, we look back to see Winston perched on the couch, peeking out of the window. Once we pull out the driveway, we can view him on the camera. He jumps down and explores the house. He will walk all around to make sure no one is home. He stands up on his hind legs and sniffs the perimeter of the island and the kitchen counters hoping there is the potential for some crumbs...or full plates of cookies that were within reach. He pops up to see if we left anything on the dining room table. We’ve even seen him jump ON the table and sniff around! In a few minutes, he’s usually back on top of the couch, watching the world go by, and hoping that we’ll be back soon. He’ll perk up when our car pulls in the drive. More often than not, when we arrive home, Winston has not had any of his food or water. Today I sat down and said to him “Dude, what’s the deal? Were you too busy waiting for us to get home to even eat your food?”

So often, I think we can be like Winston, putting all of our attention on waiting for something/someone and forgetting to nourish ourselves in the process. For me, it has been different things at different times. I was waiting on finding someone to date throughout college, after getting married I spent a few months waiting on getting a job, then after we’d saved up we wanted to find the right place to live, and the past few years, I have been waiting on a child. These things can be a huge distraction from our relationship with God, and can prevent us from pursuing the spiritual nourishment we need.

While we need the sustenance of food to keep us going physically, we need the word of the Lord to keep us going spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and to sustain our souls. We all have that something we’re waiting on, but we also have a God who’s waiting on us to pursue a relationship with Him. 

The best way to pursue a relationship with God is by reading His Word. I can honestly say that reading the Bible has given me perspective on life that has gotten me through tough times. It helps me to keep reading to see how others have made it through struggles, even Jesus (see Matthew 26:36-45). Learning that Jesus was troubled, and that his “soul was overwhelmed with sorrow” is something that helps validate my feelings when I feel the same way.

The Bible also helps me know God better. Pursuing a relationship with God means being real with him. Recently, I have learned that this means telling God how you feel even when you feel disappointed, sad, angry, upset because you don’t understand something that He let happen. 

I listened to a sermon this morning where I was taught that nothing I do will make God love me less. Can you imagine that kind of love? Doesn’t it make you want to know God more? What kind of God loves you even when you mess up or when you think he messes up?

I encourage you to read the word. Delve into scripture to feed your soul, and read passages multiple times - it’s true that you get something new each time you read!

January 2021

We don’t have to spend much time on social media before becoming fearful. 2020 has been a year unlike others with the worldwide pandemic, and the US political situation. We worry about the future. In contrast to these things, we read “Do what makes you happy”, “You are your own person”, or “You owe nothing to anyone, you owe it to yourself to follow your dreams”. While these may appear to be empowering, positive messages, I don’t believe them to be true. What is more encouraging and empowering is the message of God’s word and His truths. The verse above contains four rich truths.

The first truth is that we do not have to fear. It is so easy to live life worrying, scared of what might happen, but we have to remember that God’s got us. For me, the things I worry might happen are usually pretty unlikely to actually happen. And even if they do, God’s still got me! He is still sovereign, I can still have hope in a glorious future. He instructs us clearly “do not fear” in about 80 Bible passages.

Secondly, God has redeemed us. We have not redeemed ourselves, and we cannot redeem ourselves. That is outside of our control. He has bought us back from sin, and we belong to Him. In Him we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. While we may struggle to live holy lives, in Ephesians 1:4-5, we are reminded that even before God made the world, He loved us and chose us to be holy and without fault in His eyes. He decided in advance to adopt us in to his own family through Jesus. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Third, He has summoned us...by name. I have always thought that names are important because they mean something, and I love how we can see this in the Bible as a barren Sarai (“my princess”) changes to Sarah (“mother of nations”), and her husband Abram (“exalted father”) changes to Abraham (“father of a multitude”), then in the New Testament, Simon (“God has heard”) becomes Peter (“rock”). He has summoned YOU by name, not by deeds or by righteousness (thankfully) which means you are called to Heaven.

Finally, we are His. We have the privilege of belonging to the King, the Father, the rock, redeemer, the one who loves us and wants us more than anyone on earth. I am glad that I don’t belong to myself. If we were our own person, we would live lives full of fear, without redemption, without being summoned, and without any hope. We are not our own person, and let’s thank God for that. He is the ultimate protector, provider, peace, and guide.

December 2020

Guys. I’m really excited to share with you these new details that Dave shared with me after listening to a sermon this advent season! I have shared how I love stories, and God’s stories are just the best. Whether we read them in the Bible, hear about them from generations before, or see them in the world. I love the nativity story, because it reminds us that God’s stories are not all magnificent and grandiose, and it’s often in the troubles (like a virgin getting pregnant out of wedlock, public scandal, walking 90 miles when heavily pregnant on a dangerous route, and not being able to find a place to stay) that He works mysteriously wonderfully.

Jesus is often referred to as the lamb of God. I was taught in Sunday school that lambs were used as sacrifices, and that Jesus is the lamb of God because he is the ultimate sacrifice that God made for us. Very cool. However, there is so much more to it...

Let’s look 700 years before Jesus was born when Micah pinpointed the exact location of Jesus’ birth. 

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” Micah 5:2. So first off, Bethlehem was identified as the place that Jesus would come out of.

What was so special about Bethlehem? 

Before Jesus was born, it was known as a city where lambs were raised for sacrifices. 

• The sheep must have been without any blemishes

• Because of this, when they were born, they were laid in a manger, and wrapped in a swaddling cloth to protect them and keep them from danger

• The sheep would be brought to Jerusalem to be sacrificed 

• They would be sacrificed on the Sabbath

• Once the sheep had all its blood spilled for the sins of the people, the priest would exclaim “it is finished”

Now here’s where the story of Jesus’ birth gets really cool. Jesus was God’s firstborn (and only) son, born in Bethlehem, laid in a manger, wrapped in cloth. He was brought to Jerusalem to be sacrificed on the sabbath, he did no sin (was without blemish), and before he breathed his last breath, he said “it is finished”. Can I get a “wow!”?

The other piece of this that I love to think about is the shepherds. Back in the Old Testament, Abraham, Moses, and David, three pillars of the Christian faith, were referred to as shepherds at one point in time. Even God is referred to as a shepherd: The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. So it seems fitting that God chose to send an angel to the shepherds in Bethlehem.  Shepherds were not high standing in society (something that God makes clear is not important to him). They were told about this birth from an angel and then went to see this baby. As someone who’s life purpose is to rear lambs for sacrifice, I imagine this would have been a shocking sight to see a human who had been described by the angel as a “Savior” wrapped in cloth lying in a manger! They would have had an understanding unlike anyone else.

So this Christmas, as you think about the nativity story, I hope you can see the magnificence in the story of the baby in the lowly manger.

November 2020

2020. I’d say this year has been a rollercoaster, and while there have been ups and downs, there sure have been a lot of downs! I thought my journey to parenthood was at the tip of my fingers. I thought I had a great team at work that I could really build into. 2020 was the start of a new decade: Something special. Don’t get me wrong, there are gifts to experience on a daily basis, and I have been able to enjoy numerous blessings this year including expanding our home projects and my husband getting a new job that we’ve been praying for for years.

We’re now in November. Personally, I’m not feeling much closer to being a mother, and my work situation is draining me as I hear “covid positive” on a regular basis and have to make notifications, put safeguards in place, and counsel staff and residents through this scary time. Weary is truly how I have felt over the past few weeks. Many of us have pushed through this year and excessively exerted ourselves. How do we seek comfort in our suffering? In our times of weariness? 

In Psalm 119 (which is a super long Psalm!) the psalmist suggests that we can be comforted in our suffering, and that God’s promise is what preserves us: keeps us safe, protects us, guards us, and keeps us from decaying. God’s promises are numerous. He promises to be gracious, to be with us, to fight for us, to strengthen us, to give us peace, to love us with unfailing love, to use all things for good. And it doesn’t end there. The more of the Bible that we read, the more promises we discover. Our bitter hearts become softened.

Comfort from God doesn’t take away the challenges we are facing, but it can change our attitude and perspective as we go through the trials. God’s Word has revived me. His promises are so much more than I deserve. As we prepare to enter the season of Advent, we can reflect on God sending His son into our world as a baby. This amazing gift to us is the fulfillment of so many promises, most importantly, the gift of eternal life outside of this broken world. A thrill of hope… And if that isn’t reason to rejoice, I don’t know what is!

October 2020

Have you been feeling weary lately? This verse is relatively well-known, but I’ve never taken the time to explore it deeply. I was preparing for a Bible study this morning, and at the end, there was this prompt that said, “Ask God to teach you what it means to have a truly believing heart that waits for him”.

Immediately, I asked God to teach me. Isaiah 40:31 popped right into my head. I often joke that I’m an old lady at heart. Dave and I have about 8 bird feeders in our back garden and we get such a thrill from watching the birds come to feed. We’ve seen cardinals, blue jays, and hummingbirds. While we’ve seen many different birds, I have never seen an eagle coming to one of our little feeders. Can you imagine? Eagles require more hefty meals to sustain the calories they burn. They can fly up to 10,000 feet in the air, and travel over 200 miles a day! That’s a long distance for a bird. Eagles can see about eight times as far as humans. They can spot a rabbit from 2 miles away. That’s some serious long distance vision! 

Eagles do not have the energy or stamina it takes to constantly be flapping their wings for miles. Instead, they open their wings and catch the air in a way that helps them soar. Without getting overly scientific, these birds learn to move through chaotic air environments in order to ascend in what is called “thermal soaring”. So essentially, they find the hot pockets of turbulent air and that allows them to soar higher for longer periods of time. They cannot soar in just any environment, it has to be that hot air. And it doesn’t come naturally, but takes some navigating and learning. Eagles will use storms to soar higher. Do you think Isaiah knew this crazy scientific reasoning behind why eagles soar when he was writing this book? I bet God knew. 

When we hope in the Lord, we gain the strength to endure life’s struggles without running out of energy. But how do we hope in the Lord? It means we are not placing our hope in earthly things, even if they are “good” things like health for ourselves and our loved ones, financial stability, job security, a solid education. If we are truly putting our hope in the fact that God has sent his only son to die for us that we may not perish but have eternal life, then we can get through life keeping our eyes on the promised future in store. We can handle the day-to-day struggles knowing that they are temporary. This is not to say that we don’t experience sadness, hurt, pain, grief, betrayal, or suffering, but we don’t dwell on these times for too long, we have energy to get through the chaos because we know that this is our experience on earth and not what Heaven has in store. 

So I challenge you to truly hope in the Lord. Embrace that turbulent air and navigate through it to new heights of hope. He is telling us that when we soar on wings like eagles, we can focus on the hope we have in the distant future, which keeps us going longer than those without that hope.

September 2020

Have you ever played a game of hide and seek? Do you prefer the hiding or the seeking? I definitely was a “hider” myself as it was so much easier to find a place to make myself small and invisible than to spend time searching for people. The only exception to this is when I’m playing with a child who thinks that if they can’t see me, then I can’t see them. They cover their eyes and wait to be found. Those are the easy ones!

During the Coronavirus pandemic, I attended a virtual women’s retreat called “SEEK”. It was a great learning experience and I enjoyed getting to interact with women from different churches. Shortly after this conference, I was sent the following words from a friend who felt that she needed to share them with me:

Look for me in those trusted places; in the stillness where I can be heard. 

There is no need for striving - I know

Go back and read those two lines again, slowly. There is so much richness to these words, and they were exactly what I needed to hear. God wants us to look for him in the quiet places, when we can surrender everything to Him. God already knows what is on our plates. He wants to take it from us so that we can live life freely.

Seeking out God requires an element of hiding. We need to hide ourselves from the distractions of the world. Susanna Wesley mastered the art of hiding from distractions and seeking God, and the results were inspirational. Susanna was born in the 1600s as the youngest of twenty five (yes you read that right). She lost 9 children during infancy (two sets of twins), which I can’t even begin to imagine. Despite all of these losses, she still raised ten children and deepened her faith. A household this large makes seeking out God in quiet time quite challenging. Susanna would sit in her chair and drape her apron over herself for two hours while she spent time in God’s word, praying for her family, and growing deeper in her relationship with God. Her kids knew not to disturb her unless it was an emergency. 

I love this image because she is hiding in order to seek. It gives us a very simple picture of how one person separated herself from all the chaos around and made the time for what was important to her. She vowed that she would spend more time each day with God than in entertainment. Can you imagine living that way? Susanna was so in tune with God because she worked so hard to spend time with Him and expand her knowledge of Him, which she couldn’t keep to herself. She started to share her wisdom in Bible studies with a few others in her home. They ended up growing to the size of 200 and she had to move to a new location. What an impact!

The last name “Wesley” may sound familiar to you. Susanna had two boys by the names of John and Charles who grew up to be well-known Christian leaders. Charles wrote over six thousand hymns, and John preached to over a million people! Their mother instilled in them a sense of the importance of spending time in stillness, seeking God. When you prioritize this, your life changes, and the lives of others are changed.