Introducing… Number two

I was fortunate enough to have a relatively uncomplicated third trimester (it’s all relative), with a baby that decided to change positions from breech, to head down, to transverse what felt like every ultrasound. I really wanted to give birth naturally so this was my biggest hurdle to overcome as we approached the due date. Nurse Shirley gave me some helpful exercises to do to move it out of the breech position and I did so with success. The 3D ultrasound pictures we got really showcased chubby cheeks and a lot of hair. The ultrasound tech said she couldn’t wait to see what this baby looked like when it came out!

One Sunday morning instead of going to church as planned, we ended up participating in what is becoming a traditional 35 week visit to labor and delivery. I am writing this as the 2026 Olympics are in full swing. Dave and I are laughing seeing some pregnant women competing because the amount they are capable of is just astounding when simply bending over to put laundry away causes my body to expel a mass that warranted an emergency visit to L&D. Once we got there, I was examined and told not to eat anything. Everything looked ok, baby had a good heartbeat and fetal movement. However, it was positioned “transverse” which is not a safe position to be in for natural delivery due to risk of cord prolapse. Dr. V said he’d have to think about course of action because this changes things.

We came to learn that when a baby moves positions so regularly, it has an “unstable lie”. This has pros and cons - much like the weather in London - if you don’t like it, wait a minute. Sure enough, when it came time to push, this little baby was just as it needed to be: head down.

Birth

After being told I would not go longer than 38 weeks, which was 4/7/24, we were surprised to receive a phone call on 4/5 saying that my request for an induction had been denied due to lack of medical evidence. After planning maternity and paternity leave and saying goodbye at work we were stumped. I did mention to the doctor that I was having some itching in the evenings and wondered if it could be cholestasis like last time. He said itching itself is not enough evidence, but if lab results come back elevated that would grant me access, so he sent me for testing. Unfortunately, labs wouldn’t come back until mid-next week so we were back to waiting despite having my parents come in to town to watch Phoebe.

So on that Monday morning Dave returned to work, my parents planned on going back to their house, and we were feeling discouraged. At 7:30am, the nurse sent me a sweet text wishing us a happy birth-day party. I was so confused. Turns out they HAD approved things but nobody called me to tell me the updated information! So at 8:03am I was being told I had an 8am induction to get to. As I was on the phone hearing this information, I was telling my parents please don’t leave we’re going in to have this baby! My dad took great pleasure in calling Dave to tell him the news since I was still on the other line with the nurse. Dave exclaimed “you’re joking!”. They asked how soon we could get there. We aimed for 9am, stopped for a hefty breakfast on the way, and made it by about 9:30am.

This was the last photo of us as a family of 3 (+ Winston). Also the first time I had picked Phoebe up in 8 months. Joy, joy, joy.

As someone who hates being late to things, I was apologizing profusely and explaining the situation. They all said, ah ha that makes sense, no worries. The nurse I was working with experienced some fun karma later on when the solar eclipse took place and Dave told her to go and look instead of starting my pitocin because 15-30 minutes in the grand scheme of things was not going to make much of a difference on our end.

The second time giving birth was a different experience. When I arrived, I was 2cm dilated already (as opposed to 0cm with Phoebe). As the nurse was talking us through how things work with the pitocin, she mentioned they start at 2 units and slowly go up every half hour. Dave said what’s the highest you go? She said typically we tell people the max is 20 units, but actually it’s 30. If they reach over 20 units, then you’re really closely monitored. They brought us the lunch menu and I was offered a liquid diet. Dave enjoyed a full menu. I started at 2 units around 3:30pm, and by 8pm I was at 16 units. Still 2cm dilated. So 5 hours of a whole lot of contractions but not much to show for it.

Things were not progressing as they’d hoped by 10pm that evening, so they upped the dosage to 26. I had so many people telling me “oh the second kid is SO much easier and quicker”, which was reassuring pre-labor, but once I was in the hospital, feeling very painful contractions, not seeing things progress quickly, all I could think was WHY ISN’T THIS HAPPENING FASTER?!

I was looking back at some text messages I sent during labor… a taste below:

“Nurses here work 12 hour shifts…and I’m about to meet my third one”

“23 hours at hospital and I’ve dilated 1cm which is very frustrating”

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel this kind of agony after an epidural”

“I am on 28 of pitocin. They are pulling out all the stops to get this baby out”

“I look like Lord Farquod from Shrek” (the response to this text was “you so do” with a lot of crying laughing emojis)

If you’ve ever seen the Friends episode where Rachel is in labor watching woman after woman come in and have their baby while she waits and waits… that was how I felt. Thank goodness I had a private room and was oblivious to the speed of anyone else’s labor, although I did hear some newborn cries through the walls which was surprisingly encouraging. I say this, but 4 months later as I write, it really was not that long and people have endured far worse.

I was unable to tolerate the pain by midnight. I knew this was likely my last night’s sleep without being up feeding a baby for a long time. 8 hours of increasing levels of pitocin did me in and even though I was only 2-3cm dilated, I asked for an epidural. Request was granted. They did say I shouldn’t be in as much pain as I was in. Dave told them from the beginning that I’m “English” and when they ask me on the pain scale 1-10, that they should add 2 or 3 points to what I say to get the real answer.

The next morning at 6:40am they broke my water hoping that it would move things along. At 9am Dr. V put another catheter in to measure contraction strength since I was still only 3-4cm dilated. I remember when they told me “3-4cm” I was thinking they were giving the range so I didn’t feel so defeated. I told them not to tell me the next time they checked unless it was 10cm. By 12:30pm, I was 8cm dilated, fully effaced, and baby was at -1. They told me to let them know when I felt pressure/ready to push. I felt so exhausted that I could barely stay awake. I decided to take a nap (the last as a mother of one) and Dave joined me. By 2:45pm the nurse came in and said I was fully dilated and it was time to push.

Boy did I push. This time around, Dr. V was present the entire time and so reassuring and encouraging. He made me feel so tough and strong! I believe it was about 30 minutes of pushing so technically it was “quicker” than Phoebe by 15 minutes, but I was not even thinking about that in the moment. The baby came out and it was a girl! A perfectly knit together baby.

After pushing, the placenta would not come out. It was stuck to the uterine wall and had to be manually extracted via a lot of pulling and pushing down on my stomach. This was some of the worst pain and felt like forever. Holding my baby while this went on was such a juxtaposition. Eventually I was unable to hold her because I was in too much pain. It’s all a blur as I look back but I know it took me a while to recover this time around. Thankfully just looking at (and holding) my newborn baby helped boost my spirits.

My miracle.

I am not a super emotional person, but I have glistening eyes as I write this. Tuesday April 9th, 2024, Madeline Harriet Dudics was born. Healthy and hefty (8lbs4oz, 19 inches) at 3:21pm. I thought that was a fun time to be born :) We spent so much time debating over boys’ names that we were in shock and minorly unprepared when she came out a girl! Madeline is a name we had in the potential list when we had Phoebe. It means “tower of strength, from Magdala, magnify”. Magdala is where Mary Magdalene was born, and where shepherds watched over their sheep. There are some very cool connections between Migdal (Magdala in Hebrew) to Jesus’ birth and the spotless lambs. Mary Magdalene was a great friend and follower of Jesus. She was an example of His mercy and grace. The first one to discover the empty tomb and that Jesus was alive. On a lighter note, Madeline is a classic children’s book about a girl who is brave, mischievous and playful.

Harriet means “ruler of the home” and we chose this to honor Dave’s aunt who watched over him quite frequently as he was growing up. She was a lover of card games, kind, hospitable, and had a serving heart - all things that we pray Madeline Harriet can enjoy being. We pray that Madeline Harriett will be brave, hospitable, playful, and a tower of strength for those who need it. Above all, we pray that she comes to know and love God as her Savior.

There’s those cheeks and hair we saw on the ultrasound!

We are so in love. So blessed. So thankful. So humbled. I am blown away by the sisterly relationship Maddie and Phoebe have already. There have been occasions where we are unable to calm Maddie down and Phoebe has asked to hold her (why would she want to hold a crying baby?!) and Maddie has just stopped crying. I don’t know what it is, but it’s SO special.

I think the look on Phoebe’s face says it all here.

I would be remiss to not add our celebratory photos with nurse Shirley and doctor Viscarello. We got them with Phoebe and while we didn’t manage to get Dr. V in the hospital, we caught him at my six week checkup and snagged a photo. The power house team who continue to make miracles happen.

Thank you for reading thus far. I had no IDEA what God had in store for us when I started writing this blog. I feared that I may never have children and now I’m sitting here as my two girls are asleep thinking back on how God’s timing is truly perfect. That may be a story for another post!