Bedrest
IJuly 21st - Hematoma Check-in Appointment
After a week of bedrest, I went in for another checkup. The hematoma was bigger (not happy about that) BUT it was healing (very pleased). Last week, the ultrasound showed a huge black mass, this time it was grey, meaning it was fibrous and in the process of healing. My cervix was LONGER at 31mm (couldn’t believe that miracle). The baby was looking healthy. We discussed bloodwork results, some of which were still pending. Dave’s all came back normal. I had a few things that were outside of normal range (one being Protein S - low. This regulates the clotting function, so it could be that it was all used up in the hematoma, or I could have lower levels that need to be addressed). The other result was for anticardiolipin antibodies - relatively high (this is related to autoimmune issues). We’d have to wait to hear more about that when the rest of the results came in.
July 27th - Anatomy Scan
At 19 weeks, I went in for an anatomy scan which we were both a little nervous about because even though Dr. V said to throw the AFP results out the window, we knew this would be the date we would really see the brain and the spine along with anything else that could raise alarm bells. Fortunately, it was a joyous appointment as we saw signs of healthy development. Baby decided to wave hello to us multiple times and moved throughout the entire ultrasound. When we asked about the spine and the brain, the sonographer explained that if there was something wrong with the baby, it would not be moving like it was, which was a big relief. The next step was looking at the hematoma and unfortunately it measured larger again by about 1cm, but it was still looking as if it were healing. We tried to focus on the positives - the baby looked good, and the hematoma was not all liquid. But it’s so challenging to look on the bright side when there is a looming huge blood clot right by your baby. The last part of the ultrasound was looking at the cervix, which measured around 2.7 cm, which is not ideal but an improvement from the first time it was measured. We were supposed to review the rest of the lab results with our doctor, but he was unavailable at that time, so we said we would review next week.
August 2nd - Lab Results
As we went for our hematoma tracking appointment, we were a little frustrated to see that it had gotten bigger still. It is very tough to see this in an appointment when you know that so many people have been praying for healing. We wondered why it would be getting bigger, and were reminded that God’s ways are higher than ours. Just because it was getting bigger, it didn’t mean that it wasn’t in the process of healing. And just because it hasn’t healed yet, it doesn’t mean it won’t eventually. God definitely does a great job of teaching patience!
The positive from this appointment is that baby was healthy, moving, and waving hi again! The sonographer also pointed out that the baby had plenty of room to move even though the hematoma was encroaching on the space - another great sign. We were able to meet with Dr. V this week, but it was a little bit of a wait. By the end we understood why we had to wait, there was a ton to go over.
Dr. V explained that I have a clotting disorder (thrombophilia), along with some autoimmune abnormalities. He believes this is why the hematoma continues to get bigger, because my body is in overdrive creating clots. He did note that the hematoma seems to be expanding at the rate of my uterus, about 1cm a week, which means it is not getting significantly larger, it just is not healing like it should. We discussed what the treatment plan would be as ordinarily, when people have clotting disorders, they are put on blood thinners at the beginning of their pregnancy (things like baby aspirin, lovenox, heparin. I started on baby aspirin, but when I started bleeding I was taken off it, and since this has still not resolved, I have not resumed). This would be an option, but because of the huge hematoma which is essentially a bunch of large clots, it comes with high risk. It could induce bleeding. If the hematoma does bleed out, then it is likely that the placenta will dislodge and I will go into premature labor. Because the baby is not yet viable, it would not make it.
After being given a bunch of information, we decided (with Dr. V) that we would continue bedrest and hopefully make it until the baby is viable (preferably closer to 28 weeks), so that if I started the medication and did bleed out then the baby would have more chance of survival. Dr. V stressed the importance of bedrest to the point where it would be best for me to try and stretch out appointments to every 10-14 days as opposed to every week so that I wasn’t going through the ordeal of being up and about (even though Dave purchased me a wheelchair so I wasn’t overexerting myself). So we left with our appointment set for next week, but planned on postponing it as long as things were going smoothly. I did call that Monday and moved the appt to the following Monday, but on Wednesday started experiencing a change in symptoms that warranted a call to the doctor.
August 13th - Unplanned Appointment
The change in my symptoms prompted the doctor to have me come in and check that I was not leaking amniotic fluid. Dave wheeled me in to the exam room where we were greeted by a medical student. He explained that he was there to observe and Dave said “Sounds good - ready to see a huge subchorionic hematoma?!”
Thankfully, after a quick-ish ultrasound, the nurse confirmed that there was no sign of fluid leaking and baby looked “great”. The hematoma even looked a little smaller to Dave and me, praise God! The sonographer explained it is more about the volume of the hematoma, but both of us felt that it looked way better than what we’ve seen previously. The sonographer consulted with Dr. V over the phone who said he believed there was no need to do any further examination as it appeared that the hematoma was starting to break up/heal as we’d like it to. We were sent home to continue on bedrest and follow up that following week. They didn’t want us to spread the appointments too far apart due to me having a high risk pregnancy with some complicated factors.
That afternoon, while resting and working, I felt a few kicks! It was an odd sensation and with Dave right next to me I had him put his hand on my belly to feel it. He immediately let out a “WOAH”. Later that evening, after eating a delicious lasagna cooked by my mum, I felt some more continuous obvious kicks and felt blessed to feel the reassurance after a hopeful appointment.
Baby says hi!
August 20th - Hematoma Check-in
We were very pleased to receive news this Friday that the subchorionic hematoma looks to be resolving, getting smaller overall! The baby was moving around healthily and we were told to remain on strict bedrest, and return in two weeks. That evening the baby decided to kick up a storm which put a permanent smile on my face.
There is nothing like feeling the reassurance of your baby letting you know it’s literally alive and kicking!
September 3rd
I am happy to report that we made it two weeks between appointments with no issues and when we went in for our checkup, the little one (fruit of the week: cantaloupe) looked great! I got to experience feeling a lot of what I thought were kicks on the ultrasound, but when we looked closer we saw it was hand movements (I guess technically you could say “punches”, but I’d like to not give the little one a reputation for violence!) The sonographer pointed out “that’s a very good sized head” - those of you know that Dave has a literal large head and so I thought I’d blame his genes, but apparently they also run on my side of the family, especially in boys. Goodness gracious!
The hematoma is measuring in at about 7cm by 3cm which is still considered large. We thought it would be considered small at this point since it’s almost half the size of what it was at its biggest, but as Dave puts it: We downgraded from GIGANTIC to large. A welcome downgrade in my books!
When we met with the nurse, she said she could not believe that with all the damage to my placenta (the organ that provides nutrients to the baby), the baby was in the 80th percentile for growth. This is what I like to think of as a miracle thanks to everyone’s prayers for this baby’s health. It makes me smile and thank God for demonstrating His power.
So the little munchkin is weighing in at 1lb 13oz (822grams for my UK readers). My mum likes to make it more real by handing us sticks of butter to see how heavy the baby would actually feel - I highly recommend this as a fun exercise! Currently we are at about 7 sticks of butter.
I am continuing bedrest for the forseeable future. 54 days so far, and I will be grateful for every day in future that this baby continues to grow healthily on the inside. We made it to 25 weeks this weekend and now have a cauliflower kicking around in there. Quite exciting!
Winston is a little unsure about the kicks he’s feeling from time to time!
Friday September 10th
We had another positive checkup as the hematoma was looking better (from an abdominal ultrasound view). The technician said it’s still very much there, but if she weren’t looking for it, then it wouldn’t jump out at her. We took that as great news! They’d look internally next time to get a better view.
We had a very nice meeting with Dr. V after our ultrasound. He said we have reached the viability date at over 25 weeks(!) which means if the baby were to be born, there is a chance of it surviving! He explained that we are in a completely different position from the last time we met with him and we can mentally prepare to have a baby!
This is where we discussed the use of lovenox via injections - something that we will need to start at some point due to my clotting disorders, history of losses, and the fact that the body goes in to clotting overdrive during pregnancy, especially the third trimester. He said we should still continue strict bedrest as we are not out of the woods with the hematoma, which we were prepared for.
Initial Exam
On Monday, at 27 weeks and 1 day, Dave and I went for our “initial prenatal appointment”. Yes, that sounds odd so late in the game. We decided to transfer our care to Dr. V for a few reasons: a) He is very knowledgeable about subchorionic hematomas, clotting disorders, and high risk pregnancies, b) Dave is allowed to come in for any/every appointment, c) it’s closer to our house d) we have to see him anyways to monitor the hematoma and don’t want to have to go to appointments at two different locations with two different doctors for the next few months.
That being said, it is their policy that every new patient has a first prenatal appointment, whether that be 7 weeks or 27 weeks! We met with nurse Shirley who was so warm and informative. We wished we had received all the information earlier along in our pregnancy as there was a lot about nutrition which we were never told, but we cannot go backwards, so going forwards we are upping the protein intake (apparently our goal is a 100 grams of protein daily, and she recommended a protein shake to help...not the weight lifting kind), starting some extra DHA, and even though I thought I was drinking gallons of water, I will be drinking more!
After our consultation, we had an ultrasound. People. What I am about to share with you is what I see as a miracle. A pleasant shock. Something we had not anticipated at all. The ultrasound tech was the first one we met with back in July, and she hadn’t seen us since. She said the baby looked fantastic, healthy, and had great movements. When she looked at the hematoma she said it was like seeing a different patient. It was 2cm by .75cm. This is TINY! Just to put this in perspective, it was 13cm long by 7 cm wide at its largest, and 7cm long last time we measured it. Yes, bedrest must have helped, but this extreme shrinkage is something we attribute to the hundreds of prayers that have been prayed for us. Thank you to everyone who has been lifting us up. We are overjoyed at your support and this positive news!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
After our ultrasound, we met with nurse Shirley again. She said that they were no longer concerned about the hematoma because it is so small. This gigantic clot that had been the reason for so much bleeding and so much uncertainty was no longer a threat. What amazing news!
BUT WAIT, THERE’S EVEN MORE!!!!
I have officially been taken OFF bedrest. I will let you read that again as it has taken a few days for it to sink in for me. In fact, I will just say it again: I am no longer on bedrest. Dave and I looked at each other in disbelief. We had been told just a few weeks ago to expect bedrest until the end of the pregnancy and so to receive this news today was one of those moments where you feel like you’ve won the lottery and you’re checking those numbers over and over. For Dave, it meant asking nurse Shirley: “Are you sure?” about 4 times. Then his follow up was “so what does this mean?”
After sixty eight days of bedrest (yes, we were counting), I am now able to get out of bed and back in bed by myself instead of having caretakers lift my legs for me/move my tray table off my lap. I can get myself dressed instead of needing Dave to assist so I don’t bend/twist. I can make myself breakfast and look in the pantry/fridge to see what we have to eat instead of being given options. I can shower more than once a week AND I can do it without any help, although I did keep the chair in the shower because sometimes it’s nice to sit and relax. The freedom that comes from this lifting of bedrest is indescribable!
For anyone who unfortunately finds themselves being put on strict bedrest (and we’re talking hospital style bedrest), I am going to explain what we did here. We were told by the doctor’s office that we were the most obedient/compliant with strict bedrest that they had ever seen, and that is what must have helped decrease the size of the hematoma as well as helping it to heal. I understand not everyone has people who can be with them 24/7, but in my situation I was blessed to have my parents, Dave’s parents, other family members, church family members and friends who would sit with me and take care of my needs. Thank you all for being the best Bec-and-baby-sitters!
If you would rather skip this part, just go to “RELEASED: HOUSE ARREST” further down the page.
How I Managed Strict Bedrest (from the comfort of my home vs. hospital)
Firstly, we relocated our living to the first floor of the house. I was not doing stairs, and was instructed to be on my feet minimally. Instead of putting me in our downstairs guest bedroom which is small and can be a dark area of the house, we decided that we would convert the back of our house into our bedroom for some “studio” living. It would mean I could sit up and look out of the French doors to our back garden which Dave has manicured so beautifully, and I could see what was going on in the hub of the house: the kitchen.
Dave had been looking to buy a brand new bed that tilted for both of us, but after taking a few minutes to think with his finance/rational brain and not his panic brain, he realized that renting was the way to go. Having a bed that can raise and lower the head and feet at the push of a button was a tremendous help to me! Also helpful: Dave sleeping perpendicularly in a separate bed! The bed came with a vinyl mattress that did not quite cut it. We ordered a mattress topper which was indescribably comfortable, and what I call a butt cushion for me to use during the daytime as I sat up to work. At night I also used a knee pillow and a small wedge pillow as I was told it is best to sleep on your side (especially left side for digestion).
Working in Bed
To some, it may sound quite appealing to work from your bed for a day or two, but these circumstances required long term adjustments. Thankfully, my job (as of January) is permanently remote, so I did not need to seek any accommodations in that area. However, I was not allowed to sit upright in a chair at my desk. They had suggested a recliner, but practically, we decided that a butt cushion on a hospital bed with a lap tray would cut it. I would also use the small wedge for additional lower back support and a regular pillow for neck support. The hospital bed allowed me to sit at different angles, which was also quite nice.
Dave found a great tray that tilted at an angle and fit my wireless keyboard, mouse, wrist support mat, and some would say “massive” amounts of post it notes. The tray fit perfectly over my lap without touching me. I use my phone a lot to make calls (and occasionally for video meetings), so my thoughtful, creative brother ordered me the world’s sturdiest clip on phone holder which I have used every day since. It clips on to my tray and provides a more flattering angle of me on video calls as it’s slightly above my head level! We hooked my laptop up to our TV screen using an HDMI cord, and voila! I was able to work from bed which helped keep my mind occupied 8 hours a day.
Hygiene
We were so conservative with strict bedrest, that I literally only got out of bed to use the bathroom and shower once a week. Even standing up to brush my teeth was something that caused increased bleeding. So, I would brush my teeth either while sitting on the toilet or sitting in bed with a spit cup. I had a commode that sat on top of the toilet so I didn’t have to bend down so far, and a seat in the shower so that I could stay seated throughout the process. Thankfully, with minimal movement, I was not sweating so the weekly showers were sufficient. I had face wipes, body wipes, and a wash cloth for the days that I didn’t shower. A friend also got me a bottle of dry shampoo, which was a must-use if we ever had guests coming over.
Meals
For my first week on bedrest, we had planned on being in North Carolina on a family vacation, so Dave had the week off work. It worked out well as we learned to adjust to our new way of living. I usually do our laundry and meals but Dave had to take on these tasks and more. One way we received support was through people bringing us dinners every other day which was a huge help! I ate with a tea towel bib as I did not want to drop food on myself/my bed. I was also given a swivel table that fit under my bed and over my bed so my meals could be right in front of me - I’m currently using this table as I work from the couch.
Diet
Pregnancy requires a slightly altered diet to begin with, but anyone on bedrest is not moving, which can impact other bodily functions. This on top of the fact that I’m on certain medications (progesterone) can make for some challenges in the powder room. I found that extra water, a combination of colace (3-4 times a day spread out so that it helps with constant absorption of water), prunes, dried apricots, increased veggies, and decreased carbs were all helpful. After two months on bedrest, I resorted to a cup of prune juice a day which I just couldn’t stomach initially, but it’s worth getting past the smell/taste, trust me!
I also have some acid reflux issues that I have learned a few lessons from: no tomato based items, no apples, no pineapple, no lying down after eating (wait at least 45 minutes). Keep the stomach from getting empty - I was eating something practically every hour I was awake, even it if was just a couple of prunes! Gum is a lifesaver - but needs to be fruity (not peppermint). We also continued the nightly scoops (or scoop and a half, occasionally two scoops) of ice cream. I will say, the couple of nights that I didn’t have this close to bedtime, I did not sleep as well. With sleeping, I elevated my head just a few inches as that made a huge difference from lying down flat. I don’t know if these things work for everyone, but just sharing in hopes that it helps someone!
Mental Game
For me, bedrest was almost as much of a mental game as a physical one. Thankfully, I had the motivation of knowing that bedrest is what was needed in order to decrease the size of the subchorionic hematoma and increase the chance of the little munchkin making it out alive. At the beginning of the bedrest season, I found work a saving grace - my mind was occupied from 8am-12pm then I had a nice lunch break and 1pm-5pm was occupied. At 5pm I found myself going on google or letting my mind wander to worse-case scenarios. That’s when things became more challenging as I couldn’t potter around the house and do cleaning, laundry, meal prep as I usually would.
One thing that I found important was finding things to be grateful for so that my mind could remain positive. Examples include: each day I was still pregnant was a victory, the ability to keep working and earning a paycheck, accessibility of my computer, quality time with my parents, a great view out the window, ability to see new flowers bloom, birds coming right up to the window thanks to an attachable bird feeder that we fixed on (thanks mum!), and books to read (Chasing Contentment by Erik Raymond- this one got better as I read more, Adore by Sara Hagerty). There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for.
Weekends
I recommend scheduling tasks for the weekends so that you have little things to look forward to - short visits from friends, books to read, games to play. I also did some Facetime/zoom sessions to keep in touch with people. I became the ultimate delegator one weekend and thanks to my mum, Dave’s mom, and my sister-in-law we had a birthday party for Dave. They gathered outside and enjoyed a make your own pizza party with the pizza oven as they played yard games. I had the doors open and enjoyed seeing family members as they popped up to chat.
Church
I want to include a bit about our church family because they carried us through this experience in so many spiritual and practical ways. They set up a meal train and brought us meals regularly. The sign up was full after just two days of being posted - I had people texting me saying they wanted to bring a meal but the sign-ups were full. When Dave needed to go out, we had people come and sit with me/make sure I was hydrated/fed. We had an anonymous donor donate two months of house cleaning services so that would alleviate more work for Dave. I received letters in the mail with encouragement. One woman sent me a Bible word search puzzle book to keep me engaged which was such a hit! We had our pastor come over and chat, read encouraging scripture, and pray with us. We joined the online services and heard our names mentioned as they lifted us and the little one up in prayer. The encouragement that we’ve received has been a huge blessing.
My Parents
I cannot go without mentioning my parents. They got their week vacation in North Carolina, and didn’t even go home afterwards, but drove right to our house and sacrificed their entire summer to be with me and make sure I was taken care of. It allowed Dave to work his long days (6:30am-6pm or longer) without the added stress of getting home to me, cooking dinners, doing laundry, cleaning the house, etc.
We gave them the night off to go out for dinner for my mum’s birthday!
I love you dad, and you have been fantastic. My dad walked Winston every morning, afternoon, and evening. He also engaged in “playtime” which resulted in a decapitated toy or two as well as numerous high-speed laps around the house. Winston now sits in the evenings looking at Dave expecting some rough-housing. My dad helped with dinner clean up every day, and took our trash/recycling out/in each week. It’s the little things that really add up!
And then there’s my incredible MUM who took care of me. My mother spent most of every day at the dining table just a few feet away from me and worked on some art gallery projects. She was there to meet my any and every need, sometimes before I even asked. There was one time I was about to ask her to fill up my water bottle and literally as I opened my mouth and inhaled to speak, she said “time for some more water and a snack?” Impressive. Amazing. Above and beyond. She literally stopped everything the second I asked for something. She is a master in the kitchen and cooked us NY Times recipes multiple nights a week. She ensured that I was hydrating, eating enough fruit and vegetables, and she made my bed every time I got up to use the bathroom so that my “butt cushion” was placed correctly.
We shared some special moments, and she definitely saw me at my worst. She did not get many breaks, and never complained once. I thank you mum for demonstrating such sacrificial love. You are the best example to me of what motherhood truly is. I can’t wait to use what you’ve taught me on my own little ones.
Doctor’s Appointments
We tried to limit the number of appointments we went out to as they were trips that meant more moving. We also wanted to limit the number of internal ultrasounds so that things were not disturbed unnecessarily. Dave had bought a wheelchair for our NC trip which we didn’t end up using for that purpose, but we used for every appointment so that I was not walking long (or even short) distances. I would take a few steps out of bed and down the back steps where Dave met me with the wheelchair and wheeled me to the car. He would lift my legs and push them in the car so that I wasn’t twisting/using my abs as the doctor told us multiple times to disengage the core to prevent anything that could cause contractions. I know this sounds like overkill, but with our history we decided we would take every precaution so that we had zero regrets if anything happened.
You don’t realize how simply driving over a badly paved road can jostle things around until you pay attention!
That’s another reason to limit the doctor’s appointments. Also fun pregnancy buy - a seatbelt adjuster that prevents the belt from pushing on the belly! It’s something I might even leave in the car forever!
RELEASED: HOUSE ARREST
Who’d have thought that being on house arrest would be a joyous occasion? The freedom to explore our entire house! At the doctor’s office this week, I walked from the ultrasound room to the bathroom, which was the longest I’d walked in almost 3 months. Once we were told I was off bedrest, we returned home, and I walked from the car to the house. My parents were at our house, and when we got home we wanted to tell them the good news. I called for my dad, who was upstairs, and he didn’t respond. Dave said “why don’t you just go up and tell him?” The look on my mum’s face as she brought her hands to cover her mouth was fantastic: “Wait, what? You can do that? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
So we walked upstairs and surprised my dad. He stopped playing his guitar and his eyes swept from far left to far right. Again we heard “are you serious?”
I also had fun Facetiming my sister from up there. I placed the phone at an angle where she’d see me standing. She started off with “Hey girl, how did your appointment go? WAIT. You’re standing up?” then “you’re standing up UPSTAIRS?... AHHHHHHH”. I think everyone we told was in as much shock as we were!
You often hear “God’s timing is perfect”, and often I don’t see it. This time, I saw it. My parents run an art gallery and were scheduled to return to Boston the day after this appointment. I was going to have to rely on others to watch me for the next 4 weeks which required a lot of coordinating and was a little out of my comfort zone. I no longer needed to do that! Also, getting off bed rest a few months before my due date gives me time to gain my strength back physically which I did not expect to be able to do. I can go upstairs, envision our child’s bedroom, and engage in an exciting nesting season. What a blessing!
